Saturday, September 26, 2009

Less than 24 hours to go!

His R&R is finally among us. He called me yesterday afternoon to let me know he finally arrived in Kuwait. He was calling from the USO on Skype and it was really noisy so I couldn’t hear a whole lot. It was SO NICE to hear his voice and know he was finally out of Iraq. Just to know he was no longer there anymore made me so happy. He was on his way to me and only had two more stops to go. He told me he would let me know later that night (morning for him) what his flight schedule looked like to the states so I would know when to meet him at the airport.

WOW. There I stood at the checkout line at Target and I swear, there was nobody else around for those few minutes. I was completely focused on the fact that HE was on his way to ME! This was really happening. This moment I have waited my entire life for was finally here.

Why do I say my entire life? Just take a peek at the “About the Author” link on my personal blog to get a glimpse. Knowing him for 10 years and coming to this moment is incredible. He is THE man I have prayed for my entire life. Knowing we will soon be spending the rest of our lives together is such a humbling thought. There were many times in my life I would have thought this type of moment, this type of person, would never happen for me. Here it is, less than 24 hours away. I am so eternally thankful and grateful for him. I cannot wait to have THAT MOMENT with him at the airport. The moment we have both waited for.

I am so thankful for all the support from my friends, family, and Twitter family I know I have been blabbing my head off on FB, constantly tweeting, and just all around going crazy over his impending arrival. He’s had to bring me back to earth on several occasions. We were picking at each other a few days before he was due to leave and I swear, it was just my hormones and emotions going wild. Thank goodness that’s over and the joy and excitment has taken over. I understand that while my soldier is coming home, there are other women saying goodbye to theirs. I am again, so grateful on so many levels to have this two weeks with my soldier. More than anyone will ever know. He has to go back, but once R&R is over…he should be back home for good within the next two months. Yippie!

I will post pictures as soon as I can, but if I disappear from the blog for a while…you’ll know why.
Love & Hugs,

Monday, September 14, 2009

What they don't understand...

They will never understand what it's like to say goodbye, knowing there is always that chance it could be your last.
They will never understand what it's like to be without the one you love for such long periods of time.
They will never understand the pain you feel deep inside your heart everytime you see a man in uniform, because for that very moment you've found someone just like him.
They will never understand the pride when you see the American flag fly or hear the Star Spangled Banner. That kind of pride strikes your heart because inside, you know the person you love is sacrificing his life for what people always take for granted.
They will never understand what it's like to see "Missed Call" from an unknown number on your caller ID and realize that you may not hear from them for days or weeks at a time.
They will never understand why you save every single voicemail he's left since deployment and why you play them at all hours of the day just to hear his voice.
They will never understand why you cling to every word in every letter, e-mail, and message.
They will never understand having to explain to your children why daddy can't make it to ballet or the school play because he's "taking care of the bad guys."
They will never understand how it feels to celebrate a birthday, anniversary, and holiday through a care package that might arrive two weeks after the fact.
They will never understand what it's like to feel like half a family.
They will never understand the intense fear you get when you turn on the TV and hear another story.
They will never know the pain that strikes your heart when every single morning, it's another picture of soldiers on the front page.
They will never know how it feels to hear "Baby, we have mission tomorrow," and going insane for the next 24 hours until you hear from them again.
They will never understand how it feels to be talking on the phone or video chatting when mortars are falling right near where he puts his head every night.
They will never understand why you're love for them runs so strongly and is so deep.
They will never understand your obsession with watching military TV shows and watching YouTube videos all night long, because you've finally found something you can identify with.
They will never understand the frustrations you experience when you do finally get a phone call and the delays are so hard to deal with.
They will never understand the man you knew before deployment, might come back a totally different person.
They will never understand going to bed every night pretending he's there beside you and still trying to smile when you wake up in the morning, because it's what he'd want you to do.
They will never understand being strong for someone else.
They will never understand the nights you cry yourself to sleep because you'd give anything in that moment to smell him, touch him, or hold him for even 5 minutes.
The will never understand the frustrations of R&R and how you can never make plans because the government has other ones.
They will never understand the countdown.
They will never understand the rush of emotion that comes with seeing them in the airport after such a long time apart.
They will never understand the excitement and nervousness as you search a crowd of soldiers all wearing the same thing, trying to find the face of the one you've been waiting for all this time.
They will never understand the sacrifices we make back home.
They will never understand how time freezes once you hang up the phone.
They will never understand why suddenly, you can relate more to other military friends you've never met rather than them.
They will never understand why sometimes future plans don't happen the way you really want them to, but it's all about mutual sacrifice.
They will never understand all the thought that goes into sending a care package, even though you've sent Oreos again for the 15th time and are running out of ideas.
They will never understand what it's like to hear those three words and memorize JUST how he said it in your mind, just in case you never hear them again.
They will never understand what it feels like when someone tells you "Don't worry. He'll be fine."
They will never understand how annoyed you get when you see people complain about being apart from their spouse or SO for a few days thanks to a business trip.
They will never understand that even through it all, you would never trade this life for anything.

Overall, they will never understand the strength it takes to love a man or woman in uniform. It takes an exceptional person with strength, devotion, determination, spirit, selflessness, and pride to stand behind them. Our love, strength, and support is what keeps them going when they are 7,000 miles away.

If you're reading this and you have a friend or family member dating, engaged to, or married to someone in the armed them, love them, and comfort them. We have enough on our shoulders as it is. We don't need you questioning our love.